The Case of the Missing Son

I'll begin the post with a happy ending. My son is home safe, and he really wasn't "missing", but of course in my mind he was. I think today's post is more a case of my paranoia and worry as a mother, which I think are both quite normal when dealing with two teenagers and one tween in the same household.

Yesterday, my 14 year old son completed his last exam for the year, and successfully ended his first year of high school. Of course, this meant that a celebration of some sort was required. Although, in the minds of teenagers, I think that finishing each week of high school tends to require celebration. With regards to yesterday though, my son and a group of his friends decided to congregate at the home of one of his classmates following the exam. It's funny how the choice of homes strongly correlates with the working hours of the parents. I will give my son credit though- he did call to let me know where he was- at 1:00 in the afternoon. I was probably more accommodating to him than I might normally have been for a few reasons. It was the last day of school for him; it was a picture perfect hot summer day; and I was so relieved that he finally had a group of friends to hang out with. When I first moved into town almost three years ago, my son had a difficult time adjusting to the new home and in finding new friends. He attended school outside of the town limits, and his friends lived miles away. He spent countless hours reading, playing his X-Box, watching tv all on his own when he was at my place. It was a constant worry for me, and a very sensitive subject between the two of us. In his mind, he was unhappy because he was at a house, in a town where he didn't want to be, all because mom left. There were many tears, many loud arguments between us. I love my son dearly, but I was literally drained from his negative energy and his angry outbursts. I finally stopped trying so hard. I knew that I was doing everything I could to help him adjust, to help him understand that his life was never going to be the same as it was when his dad and I were together. I had to let him digest and come to terms with this in his own way. I'm sure there will be many more posts about this mother/son relationship as it has caused me much happiness, but also much worry- in a very different way than what I experience with my daughters.

Then, a few weeks ago, a small miracle occurred in my home. I came home from a day of teaching, and I heard voices, laughing, joking, and a very loud X-Box in the basement. My son had finally invited a couple of his buddies over after school. They ended up staying for supper, they played basketball (quite a scene since one of the boys has a broken leg and was in a motorized wheelchair, and the boys seemed to think he required an on-board navigator when he had the ball), they went for a bike/wheelchair ride. I haven't seen my son that relaxed or at ease in our home in a very long time. Even my oldest daughter made a comment about how unusual it was for her brother to have friends here, and also how much fun he seemed to be having. Since then, the group of boys has grown, and the camaraderie between them is a blessing to watch.

With all of these thoughts going through my head on a daily basis (I have to have something to worry about every minute of every day), I was very accommodating to my son when he said he was going to hang out with his friends after the exam yesterday. I was relieved. I continued on with my day, as I had a job interview, then I had to pick up my youngest daughter after school, make supper, and then I remembered that I hadn't heard from my son since 1:00. Just as I was starting to wonder where he might be, he wheeled into the driveway with his backpack, on someone else's bike, explaining that he was just dropping off his backpack and then going back to Kevin's house.
Mom: But have you eaten?
Son: Ordered pizza
Mom: When? Do you need supper?
Son: I'm full
Mom: What are you doing now?
Son: Going back to Kevin's to hang out
Mom: For how long?
Son: Don't know
Mom: What are your plans?
Son: Don't have any
Mom: Well how long will you be?
Son: Don't know
Mom: Can you let me know?
Son: K
Mom: When?
Son: I think we are going to a soccer game, then to a party at Krista's
Mom: Whose Krista?
Son: You don't know her
Mom: How late will you be?
Son: Don't know, gotta go mom.
Mom: Have fun (waving at his back as he biked down the street)

Was that wrong? I had no idea who Krista was, where she lived, how long he would be. He was still in town, so how much trouble could he really get into? By the time it was almost 11:00 and he still wasn't home, let me tell you, my mind had conjured up many horrible visions of just what could go wrong with a group of teenagers on a hot summer night on the last day of school- even in a small town. To say I was panicked, would be an understatement. My son doesn't have a cell phone (coming soon now though), and I had no idea who "Krista" was. I called the last known residence where my son had been sighted- Kevin's. I talked to Kevin's older sister who helpfully gave Krista's last name. Her and her father seemed completely unfazed by the fact that these boys were at a party on a Monday night. I should have been relieved. Even my oldest daughter (who was extremely annoyed with my constant questions and worries by this point) told me to stop worrying, he would be okay. I was okay, for about five minutes...then my mind took over. Were they supervised, maybe he was drinking and he had overindulged, and was at this moment passed out from alcohol poisoning, or he had tried to walk home in a drunken haze and had fallen in the town river. I kid you not, these thoughts were in my head as clearly as though they were actually happening. I couldn't stand it anymore. I looked up Krista's last name in the phone book- as luck would have it there was only one in the book. Please remember, this is now about 11:00 on a Monday night.
Mom: Hello, I'm looking for my son, and I think he is at your place.
Man on the Phone (who sounds a bit sleepy, and also kind of like a very old man): Pardon me, who do you want?
Mom (who suddenly wondered why this man sounded so tired and old): I was told that there was some sort of party at your place tonight...you know the kids from school were getting together because it's the last day of school.
Man on the Phone: And what would be your son's name?
Mom (ok, even though I don't hear any sounds of a party, he wants to know my son's name so there must be kids there): His name is ... (I proceeded to give his full name- first and last)
Man on the Phone: And why would he be here?
Mom: Because there is a school party there....right?
Man on the Phone: I'm sorry you really do have the wrong number
Mom: Oh, I'm so sorry
Click.

My oldest daughter suddenly remembered that Krista doesn't have the same last name as her mom since her mom was remarried. Too late, I had already made a complete fool of myself to a strange man who now has my son's full name, and is probably wondering why I don't know where my son is. My daughter had a vague idea of where this Krista lived, but really, I couldn't drive over there. I didn't want to seem like that kind of a mother. So I asked my daughter to drop in for a visit...at the home of a girl she barely knew, to check up on her brother. She looked at me like I had two heads, rolled her eyes at me, and then continued to pore over her study notes for the next day's Biology exam.

When I thought I was going to literally lose my mind from worry, I heard the door open.

Son: Hi Mom
Mom: (with as normal a voice as possible) Did you have fun?
Son: Yeah it was ok
Mom: ( with relief spilling out of every pore) Omigod I was so worried, I thought you were drunk, had alcohol poisoning, had fallen in the river, I called some old man looking for you, I was going to send your sister out looking for you!!!!
Son: Yeah mom, I drank jello shooters all day, and I'm completely drunk(insert very sarcastic tone here). I'm hungry, is there anything to eat?
Mom: I'm so happy you're home.

Welcome to the mind of a very over protective mother. Help required!!!
And I get to replay this scene every weekend until grade 12 graduation.