"Out with the Negative, In with the Positive"

Today's posting was inspired by a response I received from one of my "Chocolate of Women" followers. It seems like such a simple thought, but when reflected upon, it can have a sweeping impact on our lives. I am a big believer in the power of positive thinking. I have read "The Secret", which in turn led me to read other works detailing the power of the law of attraction. Admittedly, at first I was quite skeptical about the validity of such an immeasurable law. Could I not just interpret the events in my life in a way that made it seem that I had drawn them into my reality? How could anyone prove that my thinking, my unconscious thoughts, my words, and my actions were actually creating the situations that I happened to find myself in? Then, I stopped thinking about it, stopped trying to analyse this theory so much. Instead, in my day to day life, I tried to focus on what I needed to do during that day to make me a positive person, to make my day an experience that gave me a sense of peace and contentment.

I don't want to give the false impression that each one of my days is filled with the "Brady Bunch" false positive that still makes me cringe when I think of how perfect that tv family was. What I have discovered, however, is that I have become more aware of what I am thinking and doing, which gives me a stronger feeling of being in control of what I want to do in my day. If my kids are driving me crazy with their arguing and bickering, if the ringing of the phone seems never-ending, if the constant game of catch up with my to-do list seems like a losing battle, I now look those struggles in the face and realize that I need to somehow give myself a moment of "positive".

How do I do that? One of the most powerful tools that I rely on, is to stop the moment, completely remove myself from it if I have to. Then, I sit and remember. I think about many of the small things that people have done for me that have had an unforgettable impact on me...someone who has gone out of their way to make sure I am okay. That feeling of belonging, of compassion and caring, can't be bought. It can't be disguised with big, expensive gifts. It can, however, be felt years later. It can be remembered at just the right moment.

I am very lucky to have so many people in my life who have provided me with a multitude of "selfless act" memories. As I am writing this, remembering the details of some of these recollections, I feel the positive, the peace of my life, how grateful I am. Following are only a few examples of "small things with big impacts" on my life.

* A close friend who stopped in at my house with a coffee and a vanilla berry yogurt from Tim Horton's. The timing was perfect. I was on no-weight bearing recovery from foot surgery after months of no healing, months of depending on everyone around me to do everything, months of inactivity, months of slowly losing my mind.

* My sister-in-law who called me every single day following the diagnosis of my unborn baby with spina bifida. I was so lost in my grief and anguish for my baby, so overwhelmed by the heaps of information and by the medical professionals who became intertwined in our life, that I could barely focus on what a normal life was. She called every day to ask me how I was, to check on my other children, to let me know that she cared.

* A card in the mail during a winter of torment, a season of never seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It read "It's always broccoli just before the pie. Hope things are pie soon." This came from a dear friend who always seems to know.

* A framed photo of my grandpa surrounded by his great grandchildren. This was a gift on Mother's Day from my oldest daughter. Three days later my grandpa passed away.

* The friend who changed her plans for the day the minute she received the tearful phone call from me. She arrived bearing Italian food, and a shoulder to cry on.

* The scrap piece of paper, folded haphazardly by my youngest daughter when she was five years old. "Dear Mom, I love you! You are great!"

* The man who gave me a sprig of rosemary from his garden, to carry with me on my journey home, knowing the scent filling my car would remind me of him.

These are the moments that I remember, and so many more. It is these kind acts of human nature that give me my moment of "positive". They help me to see the kind of person that I want to be.