It Happened One Night- A Story of 3

The all-knowing "they" say that things happen in 3's. Last night, as I helped a step dancing friend celebrate her birthday, I discovered that it is not only emotional, negative events in our life that tend to happen in 3's...it can also refer to embarrassing, ridiculous events as well (in my case anyway). As I recall the details of the night and try to piece together each moment of embarrassment, I see a pattern emerging as to the cause. I have no one to blame, no chain of coincidental circumstances that I can see- it's me. It's my uncanny inability to take in all the important details of what is happening around me, and to think first before I react either verbally or dramatically.

Event #1: The restaurant/pub was packed. There was lots of action with the wait staff almost running to keep up. The noise level was, in my teacher terms, at an "outside voice" level, combined with the music, the breaking of glasses, the sports channels on the big screen tv's. In my defense, that is a lot to take in when you are trying to focus on the conversation of the person you are dining with, someone whose story had me totally enraptured with what she was saying as well. I vaguely remember a waiter setting some platters of food on the small round table pushed into the corner beside us. No one was sitting at this table. A few minutes later, two young men arrived at that small table, did not sit down, but proceeded to pick up the platters of food. Once again, in my defense, would anyone not just assume that these two men were waiters? It was at this precise moment that my friend needed a refill for her drink and had been unable to flag down our waitress. Being the helpful friend, I leaned over and politely asked one of the men picking up the food at the table next to us, if he could bring my friend another glass of red wine. His response wasn't openly rude, but loud enough that three tables of people could hear him. "Maybe you should ask somebody who actually works here." Left at that it would have been not too embarrassing, but of course, anyone who knows me well, knows that I tend to be quite dramatic. Thus, the over-exuberant apologizing followed, accompanied with the nervous laughter, and then the "omigosh I can't believe that I just did that" scene, resulting in at least three more tables of restaurant patrons joining in on the embarrassing incident. A few minutes later, with the red in my face slowly draining, a waiter (a real one) came to our table with a glass of red wine for my friend.
Waiter: "I heard from the band that you ladies needed a refill for your drinks."
I turned in the direction of where the band was set up, made eye contact with the drummer(the waiter in my mind a few minutes earlier), who then tipped his drumstick to his forehead, gave me a slight nod and a smile. My embarrassment was now complete.

To be honest, the cause of Events 2 & 3 may have been slightly influenced by the consumption of alcohol. I should have my own personal warning that extends beyond not operating a motorized vehicle after consuming alcohol, to also include, do not speak or move without thinking through the consequences of all of your actions.

Event #2: The birthday celebration changed venues throughout the evening as we moved from the restaurant to a dance bar across town. When we arrived, I wasn't sure how many people I would actually know at my friend's birthday party as we usually moved in different social circles. There were a few familiar faces, not close friends, but at least people that I recognized. As we moved deeper into the room, scanning the crowd, I saw the husband of one of my very close friends sitting on a stool at the bar across the room. Once again, tunnel vision kicked into high gear as I made my way over to where he was sitting, to say hello. In my world, public greetings of my close friends are not formal, polite, etiquettely-correct (is that a word?) kiss, kiss greetings. It begins with a bit of a squeal, followed by the name of the person in the same high-pitched tone, and then a dramatic hug that would seem as though this was a long-lost friend returning from the dead. My friend's husband has known me for years, and being quite accustomed to such scenes, willingly played along. It was just as I reached my arms up to give him my hug that the moment changed from a greeting to another embarrassing event. It was dark in the bar. It was crowded too. I didn't even notice the waitress trying to squeeze between me and the table beside where I was standing. I also didn't notice her tray of full drinks...at least not until my elbow made contact with it and the whole thing went crashing on the floor. Once again, my exuberant apologizing, my nervous laughter, and my assistance with the clean-up only proved to draw more attention to the whole situation. My friend's husband, having witnessed many similar scenes involving myself, his wife, and the rest of our group of silly friends over the years, merely shook his head and then added the cost of the drinks to his bar tab. Thanks Charlie!

Event #3: The final event of the evening is something that I'm sure has happened to many other people. It caused no harm to anyone, no damage was done, and it could have been easily kept between the three people involved in the conversation, if I could just manage to control my reactions.
Mingling through the crowd, I ran into a woman who I hadn't seen in a number of years. We used to be in the same dance class, and I had only ever known her by her first name. I chatted with her and the man that was with her for a while, reminiscing about our time together in dance, how she missed it, how she had danced for many years- all things I hadn't really known about her before. I was surprised to learn how involved she had been with dance for such a long period of time. Within a few minutes, this was all going to make more sense to me. Having exhausted the only topic that we seemed to have in common, I asked her about the birthday party that we were both celebrating.

Joanne: You are here tonight for Kristina's birthday?

Mary Lou (with a puzzled look on her face): Yes...

Joanne: How do you know Kristina? Have you known her for long?

Mary Lou (with a look of "are you for real" on her face now): Joanne, I'm Kristina's mom.

Just how many dim-witted things can one person say or do in one night? Once again, the dramatic shock on my face, the "omigod, I never knew you were Kristina's mom!", the "why won't I just stop talking" reaction I gave her must have prompted her to want to share the humour. She got the attention of everyone who was sitting with Kristina- aunts, uncles, cousins, friends- and asked quite loudly "Kristina, how long have I known you?", then proceeded to retell our conversation to the entire group. Fortunately, I am one of those people who finds it difficult not to laugh along with everyone else when they get to witness some of my stories in real life.

The night came full circle when, at last call, the band from the restaurant at the beginning of my night wandered into the bar. It's funny how well-remembered a person is for the ridiculous moments as two of the band members walked past me, stopped, and made some kind of comment to me about serving drinks. I kept walking, out the door, and directly into a cab. It was definitely time for me to go home.